12:06 PM

“Watch, look to the left, over by the payphones.”

She had a daily routine that she followed religiously; I could practically set my watch by it. There had only been rare occasions since I had first seen her that it had changed.

“What the fuck is the deal Jake, are you stalking her or what?”

“Dude, just shut up and watch!”

Her daily early afternoon routine involved a large cup of coffee and a stroll into the basement of the student union to watch the drama majors perform monologues and improvisational comedy sketches, badly, I should add.

Today was no different, she had her coffee in her right hand, her backpack was on, and she was completely oblivious to my existence. She passed by the payphones across the hall from where Joe and I were sitting on this day, the same place I sit everyday at noon.

“12:06 P.M., I swear to Christ Joe, she shows up and passes the same spot within 4 minutes of 12:06 everyday,”

“So what?”

“So what? What do you mean ‘so what?’ You don’t think that’s a little fucking strange dude?”

“I’ll tell you what’s fucking strange man, the fact that you know that.”

“Don’t you think she’s cute?”

“She’s cute. So why don’t you just talk to her?”

“I don’t get to class in time to sit anywhere near her. I have class at Old Chem and then have to bolt up to AME.”

“How about now? Why don’t you catch her now?”

“What the hell am I supposed to say? ‘Hi, I know you don’t know me, but I have had my eye on you for a few weeks now’? Do you have any idea how fucking odd that sounds?”

“That doesn’t seem odd at all.” There were more than subtle undertones of sarcasm in his voice.

“Goddamn smartass.”

Admittedly, it did sound kind of odd that I knew what time she pass that particular point in the hall, but it was entirely coincidental. She wasn’t the only student in Tucson who had a lunch routine. I would usually grab a cup of coffee and a pastry or bagel from the same small stand that she would frequent. I would then take a seat on a bench down the hall.

Over a matter of a couple of weeks, I slowly started to casually observe her lunch routine. I had first noticed her in my engineering 181 lectures. She was impossible not to notice. An attractive young female tends to stick out in a group of students that is predominately men and women who could only be described as such by the anatomical definition. I really hate to categorize people into stereotypes, but out of the 300 people in our lecture, no more than 50 of them were female. And out of those 50 women, only about 15 of them were anything you would want your friends to see you in public with.

She was 5’4”-ish, with shoulder-length brunette hair, blue eyes, and great legs. Physically, she had absolutely everything I was looking for in a girl. The fact that she was as engineering major let me know, that at least intellectually, she was my type.

A few days had past since I had pointed her out to Joe, with him unsettlingly quiet about the event. I walked into our engineering lecture to a surprise. Whether it was to be good or bad was to be determined.

“Jake! Over here, yo!”

I looked to the front of the room to find Joe sitting two seats away from her, with a single seat in between.

“Dude, I saved you a seat! Right here buddy!”

I begrudgingly took my place next to him, giving him a dirty look in the process, but giving him high-fives in my head. This was the opportunity that I was looking for; I had just wished that it wasn’t as contrived as it was. Considering the standard format for the lecture, it was also the perfect environment.

I will admit, this wasn’t the first time that I had taken a seat next to an attractive woman in one of my lectures. I will also admit that this wouldn’t be the first time I had tried to get one of them to notice me. Three times before, I had tried to strike up conversations with girls in lecture classes. Three times before, I was shot down or ignored before any substantial progress had been made.

The problem I faced was the fact that the professors in my other classes were almost strictly professors. They had few distractions in their personal or professional lives, and had plenty of time to prepare lectures and notes for their sessions. This means, in short, that these college teachers were actually teaching things that weren’t in the textbooks to their students. This ensured that the young, cute, impressionable females that I was trying to corrupt were paying attention and taking notes rather than talking to me.

This challenge simply did not exist in my engineering lecture. The few of us guys who were confident, thin, attractive, and all-around, normal enough to hit on the 15 desirable bachelorettes in the class were free to do as we will. The professor who led the lecture section of the class was completely overwhelmed with overseeing a project that was to be taken to a national competition at the end of the semester.

In the occasions that he did make it to class, his lectures were almost strictly taken from the text. There was little to no reason to take notes, because everything we were being taught we had already read over. He had little to no time to prepare, and neither did the substitute profs who filled in on occasion. The meat and potatoes of learning in the class happened in the discussion section, when we were in a group of 30, rather than 300, with a professor who had time to prepare.

Most of us did the honorable thing and showed up to lecture, even though we thought it was completely useless. Personally, I was afraid that the project would be completed and the professor would come back to actually teach us something. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that the students weren’t really paying attention. At least a third of the attending used it as an opportunity to take a nap between classes in an air-conditioned building. Most of the rest caught up on their homework in other classes, or worked on the crossword in the Wildcat. Some kids actually took notes, which means that they truly didn’t understand the text, or they didn’t read it.

I took my copy of the Wildcat out of my messenger bag and feigned a lost pen. After a sufficient fake search, patting my pockets and glancing in my bag once or twice, I leaned over and bumped her with my elbow.

“Excuse me…”

She was thumbing through that week’s issue of ‘People’ magazine when she looked up and smiled.

“Yes?”

“You wouldn’t happen to have a pen I could borrow, would you?”

“Maybe…”

“Maybe?”

“What do you need the pen for?”

“Writing…”

“I know that, I mean what are you writing?”

“The crossword.”

“How ‘bout we do it together? I’m kind of bored.”

“That works for me, what’s your name?”

“Kate.”

“Kate, my name is Jake. It’s a pleasure.”

“Same here. What’s with the smirk?”

I have an uncontrollable reaction to some things. The same way one would laugh when they are being tickled, or flinch when someone swings at them, I have the tendency to smirk when I am attracted to a girl, (or when I think I am getting away with something that I shouldn’t be.)

“Nothing, it’s nothing.”

We spent the next 40 minutes ignoring what we were supposed to be doing, making jokes at the others expense, and filling out the crossword to the best of our ability.

“Do you not know how to read, Jake?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Transceiver! It’s E-I not I-E!”

“It’s I before E-“

“Except after C, dork!”

“Engineering major, not English, remember?”

“Me too, remember?”

“Let’s see, 33-down, ‘Pain in Jake’s ass’ four letters, begins with K-A. Hmm, would could it be?”

She cocked back and punched me in the arm.

“Dammit woman!”

This was now noticeable enough to get the attention of the professor, who was at this point, reading his lecture directly from the book. He glanced up for a second, and attempted to discover the cause of the disturbance. Kate and I both slumped in our chairs and shut our mouths.

The prof leered at us for a couple of seconds, and then continued to read.

“What is it with women and punching me?” I whispered to her as she tried to hold in her laughter.

“I’m willing to bet that this isn’t the first or last time a girl has punched you.”

Class ended, Kate and I packed up our belongings and walked outside with Joe close behind. We parted with the usual ‘nice to meet you’ and ‘I’ll see you around’, then went our separate ways.

Joe walked up behind me and lit a cigarette. I waited until she was out of visual range and did the same.

“So, how did it go, man?”

“She is an insufferable, stubborn, sarcastic, cocky, pain in my ass.”

“Really? That sounds a lot like someone else I know.”

“Yeah, who?”

“Who do you think, dude? You! The way you describe her, she actually seems like she would be your type.”

“Joe, I’m thinking she is definitely my type.”

“So, what’s the next course of action?”

“We are going to lunch tomorrow.”

“Was it your idea or hers?”

“Actually, I just thought of it. She doesn’t know it yet, but we are going to have lunch tomorrow.”

“So, I take it you got her number.”

“Well…no, not, exactly.”

Joe gave me a confused, blank stare. It was akin to when you pretend to throw a tennis ball for your dog to retrieve, and he can’t seem to find it.

“I don’t follow Jake, we don’t have a lecture again this week, how are you meeting for lunch?”

“Damn, I really need to quit smoking…”

“Jake! Don’t change the- Uh oh…”

“What?”

“I’ve seen that look before. You have something up your sleeve, don’t you?

“Joe, you should know this by now, but once in a great while, you need to expedite things a little by arranging coincidences.”

“Arranging coincidences?”

I have never believed in karma, or kismet. I have never been the type of guy who was ever willing to let ‘fate take its course’, if you will. There are only two types of events in this world that takes place with a human being involved. There are entropic, or random, unplanned events; and there are planned events. Not events planned by a creator or some sort of spiritual being, but by one or more of the participants.

If someone trips on a rock, it’s entropy. If someone sticks a foot out as someone else is walking by, it is planned. Everything a human will experience falls into one of these sets, but there is room for a gray area. If someone walks down the sidewalk and trips on a rock that someone purposely kicked into their path it is both entropy and order. It is a planned or arranged coincidence.

In the dating sense, there may be times in your life where someone you might be a little interested in has the tendency to show up at really odd times, or more often than they did before. A good deal of the times when you are meandering about in your life and you happen to ‘run into’ someone who has caught your eye were planned out well in advance without your knowledge.

There is a caveat to be aware of. There is a very fine line between arranging coincidences and stalking someone. When setting up a ‘chance’ meeting with someone, you need to make sure it is a public place that they go to regularly and often. If you know, for example, someone happens to go to the same coffee shop everyday at about the same time, it would be a great opportunity to bump into her. It should be somewhere you have seen them before, a place where they frequent. Setting up an accidental run in with someone isn’t about knowing where she is going to be, it’s more about increasing the chances of encounters by frequenting the places she frequents.

On the other hand, if you start following someone to figure out their routine, have their phone tapped, bugs placed in their house, and a tracking device placed on their car, it’s a pretty good bet that you are the definition of a stalker. In review: running into a girl between classes, in public, is acceptable. Running into a girl on her driveway at 12:30 AM as she is throwing her trash, not cool.

It just so happened that I had a good idea where she was going to be at 12:06 the next afternoon.

I got out of class a little early, ran over to the union, grabbed some coffee and sat at the normal bench. 10 minutes later, at 12:09 PM, she walked by.

“Kate!”

“Hey, what’s up Jake?”

“I was supposed to meet a friend here for lunch, it looks like he flaked. He was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago.”

“Where were you going?”

“I dunno, it was my turn to pay, so some place cheap! You eating alone today?”

“Yeah.”

“Want some company?’

Our first date was lunch at the Taco Bell in the middle of the union. Neither one of us ate much. We both spent a majority of the hour together talking about or respective backgrounds, and it turned out that we had a lot in common. She was the elder of three children, two girls and one boy. She was born and raised in Palo Alto, and her parents had recently separated.

The thing that I found most intriguing about her was that she got my sense of humor, and she had one that was similar. She was smart, funny, and ridiculously hot, everything I am looking for. We exchanged numbers and planned on meeting up later for dinner and bowling, out of all things.

Three weeks, 9 dinners, 12 lunches, 4 breakfasts, and twelve flowers later, we were somewhat of an item. From the moment we started spending time together, absolutely everything seemed perfect. Every meal with her, every movie, every hole of miniature golf, every joke that we made at the other’s expense was perfect. The only thing left to do was to introduce her to some of my friends, and one night in particular seemed like a perfect time to do it.

Joe and I had recently had an encounter with a sophomore who happened to be the treasurer of U of A’s chapter of Theta Tau, the engineering fraternity. He practically accosted us as we were walking out of our physics class.

“Guys! Hey Guys!”

We both looked at each other with a ‘do-you-know-that-fucking-asshole?’ scowl on or faces, and then turned towards him.

“Yeah? What’s up?” Joe still looked confused when he answered.

“My name is Steve, and I was wondering if you guys have pledged.”

Having listened to a few of my frat buddies speeches from time to time, I was ready to walk away.

“Steve, I am meeting someone for lunch, then studying for a test I have in 2 hours. You are going to have to get to the point, rapidly.”

“I think you guys should join Theta Tau.”

“I already have friends Steve, and I don’t really want to pay for new ones.” Joe piped in with his two cents.

“Just hear me out, guys.”

I glanced at my watch and realized that I had been released from my last lecture a few minutes early.

“You have two minutes.”

“Theta Tau is a fraternity exclusively for engineering majors; we are a professional fraternity that focuses on building networking skills for the future. We are having a little membership get together next weekend and we would like you two to attend.”

“Why us? There are 200 engineers in that physics class, why choose us?” Joe was still confused.

“Well, quite frankly you two seem to be two of the most socially capable people in that room.”

“So essentially, you picked us because we seem to be cooler than everyone else?” It was just as I figured, even in a professional organization, acceptance was based on looks.

“Well, yes, and the fact that you seem quite popular among everyone in class, and could possibly bring more members to the table.”

“What’s in it for me?” Joe took the words out of my mouth.

“Free food and booze for you and a date. And if you don’t like us, just don’t come back.”

That’s about all I needed for the sale to be completed.

“I’m in.”

“Great! It’s next Friday at 6 PM, business casual. We are trying you out too, you know! Invite any other engineering majors you want.”

Steve handed us a couple of fliers with the when and where and went on his way.

“I’ve got a bad feeling, about this, Joe.”

“Then why did you agree to go?”

“Free booze dude, free booze.”

The day of the event came along, and I ran to Dillard’s for a new pair of shoes and pants. They were quite possibly the most expensive pair of dress shoes that I have ever purchased, putting me back at least a hundred bucks. I was looking to impress that evening, joining a frat didn’t really appeal to me, but one never knows if their mind will change. Kate and I had never done anything where we weren’t wearing t-shirts and jeans, so this was an opportunity for me to impress her as well.

The place where the party was being held was within mere walking distance of all of our dorms. Joe’s dorm was next door to mine, so we met up and walked to Kate’s together.

“So dude, have you and her…?”

“Have we what?”

“Oh you know, consummated the relationship!”

“That’s none of your fucking concern, dude!”

“So, I’ll take that as a no.”

We met Kate and walked the mile and a half to the house just off of campus, arriving at least 40 minutes before the event was to begin. As it turned out, we weren’t the only people from our section of our engineering lecture that were invited to partake in the festivities. Four others, three guys and one girl, were also there as potential pledges.

The guys were relatively unknown to me, but Camille, the girl, was a good friend of mine, and as it turns out, one of the other 15 smoking hot girls in our lecture. Kate went to the bar and grabbed a couple of drinks for the two of us.

“Camille! How are you doin’ hon?”

“I’m great, and you?”

The two of us carried on for a few minutes. Kate came back with our drinks and a scowl on her face. I introduced the two, we parted ways, and Camille kissed me on the cheek as we started heading to our seats for dinner. Thankfully, we were on opposite ends of the dinner table.

“What the hell was that, Jake?”

“What was what?”

“That little show with what’s-her-name? I saw the way she looked at you!”

I took a glance into her right hand, and it appeared to me that her drink was already more than halfway done. It was a Long Island that I could smell from 50 feet away, both from the glass and now, her breath. A few things became apparent to me at that moment. First, to the best of my knowledge, she was completely unaware that I had female friends, and I had no idea if she was the jealous type or not. Second, I had never seen her drink before.

“How many of those have you had, Kate?”

“This is only my second…”

“Christ, we have only been here 40 minutes!”

Dinner was a buffet, I wasn’t feeling too well, so I bypassed the food and out of courtesy, served Kate a plate. But when I turned around and walked back to the table, she was out of eyeshot.

“Where did she run off to, Joe?”

“I think she went to get another drink.”

“Son of a…”

As much as I wanted to say something to her, I kept my mouth shut. In my opinion, there was no point in drawing attention to us unless she was drawing attention to me. She hadn’t done anything to embarrass herself, or more importantly, me. I just figured that she was letting off a little steam from the midterms we had that week.

She sat down and ate, and the frat’s VP gave a small presentation about who they were and what they were about. Kate picked at the plate in front of her, visibly buzzed, but at least now slowing down. The dinner portion of the evening ended, and the fraternity president led all the gentlemen on a tour of the house, leaving the women alone.

Alone with an open bar.

The tour concluded, and a few of us went out back to smoke a cigarette. Four of us gathered and started talking about dues, activities and such, then our significant others. A classmate in my discussion group informed me that he had recently started hanging out with Camille, and mentioned that she was fond of me as a friend.

In suit, I started talking Kate up, and telling everyone how great I thought she was and how compatible we were, even after a short amount of time. I took a quick glance at my watch, to realize that it had been at least 30 minutes since the tour had started.

“Speaking of Kate, I wonder what she is up to…”

At that moment I heard a scream that changed the mood of the evening irrevocably.

“You fucking bitch!”

I burst through the back door and ran into the kitchen to find exactly what I was afraid was going to happen. Kate was staring down Camille and backing her into a corner, and as interesting as a cat fight would have been, I didn’t want to see one between these two.

“That’s it Kate, you’re done.”

I grabbed the drink from her hand, put it on the counter and as gently as I could, grabbed her arm. I quickly thanked everyone, and walked out of the door.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“I don’t know… I just don’t like to see other girls flirting with you…”

“I have a lot of female friends, if that is going to be a problem, then we are going to have a problem.”

“I know, and I know you wouldn’t do anything, I just… It’s been a long fucking week and I have been feeling a little insecure lately. I don’t… I don’t fucking drink that much normally and when I do, I have a hard time, ya know?”

“I know, this week sucked for me too babe, its ok. Let’s just go home.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I know, it’s ok…”

We started to trek back the mile and a half to her dorm, her shoulder on mine as not to fall over. She stumbled here and there, but not enough to bring her to the concrete. We passed a bus stop under a streetlight at about the midway point and she sat down on the bench. I stood beside her, rubbing her back and trying to comfort her.

“I’m sorry about tonight babe…”

“I know, I know, it’s ok…”

“I just love you so much, Jake…”

This was an interesting turn of events, considering that the L-bomb had never been dropped with us outside of the content of 24-hour restaurants or Magic Mountain. So I did what every guy does when his girl says something that he knows she is going to regret or forget in the morning, I changed the subject.

“There’s a 7-11 right here, do you need any water or anything babe?”

“Please stay here.”

I stood beside her and continued to rub her back as she held her head in her hand. At that moment, something happened within me that changed the way I saw her. I’m not sure if it was her behavior at the party, the fact that she said that she loved me, or the fact that the streetlight made me keenly aware that her hair was dyed and she was not a natural brunette. I am fairly certain that a great deal of my sudden loss of interest had to do with the fact that she took this opportunity to throw up all over the hundred dollar dress shoes I had just purchased.

To this day, I still don’t know how much she drank that night, unfortunately, I am all too aware of how much she ate.