Are You There God? It's Me, Jake...

Last night, after 6 games of MLB slugfest and a rather horrid case of insomnia, I had a rather lengthy dream.

I was vacationing in Barcelona alone, taking in the sights, soaking in the culture, and meeting new people along the way. I stopped in to a rather small café for a quick cup of coffee and a bite to eat. The inside of the café was no larger than my bedroom at home, big enough for only a few tables and chairs.

I took my order to a small table in the corner, sat down, and proceeded to eat my lunch, picking up a local newspaper and pretending to be able to read it so I didn’t look too much like a tourist.

A gentleman, about my age, height, and build walked up to me and started a conversation.

“Do you mind if I take this seat?”

“Take it where?”

“Do you mind if I sit in it?”

I looked about the room and saw that I was the only patron in the place, which I thought was very odd, considering the time of day.

“There are other tables… Wait, are you an American? You speak English very well.”

“Let’s just say that I am well traveled.”

“Good enough, I have been looking for someone to talk to that I can actually understand.”

The gentleman put his food down and sat down across the table from me. An odd presence emanated from him, it was kind of like an aura. It was oddly comforting.

“My name is Jake, and you?”

“People call me God.”

Always the smartass, I had to say something to that.

“They must have you mistaken for me.”

“No, everyone calls you jackass; you’re the only one who calls you God.”

This guy is good.

“If you are God, what are you doing in a café in Spain?”

“First of all, I am not in a café in Spain, neither are you for that matter. You are dreaming. I am here to answer a few questions that you have.”

“Alright, but if I am dreaming, how do I know that it’s really you, and not some manifestation of my subconscious?”

“There’s no way for me to prove that to you, at least not here.”

“But you are God…”

“I may be God, but you have already made up your mind regarding the nature of dreams, and to a certain extent, reality. Not to mention that in all of my infinite wisdom, there is only one thing I can do to prove that I am God.”

“Explain.”

“Well, if I tell you something only you know, then you are definitely going to think that I am a mere manifestation of your subconscious. If I tell you or show you something that you have never heard or seen before, you will only believe that I am a mere figment of your imagination. The only way I could prove that I am God, here and now, would be to kill you.”

“Ok, just for arguments sake, and because I like being alive, I am going to take your word for it. But can’t you just force me to believe that you are God?”

“I could, but then I would have to take free will away from everyone else too.”

“Good point. Well, obviously if you are here, you know that I have some questions.”

“Of course, I know the questions you are going to ask, I know the answers to the questions, and I know how this conversation is going to end.”

“How is this any fun for you?”

“Just ask, this is a dream remember? We don’t have an abundance of time.”

“First and foremost on my mind is the situation with…”

“Jake, the only thing I can say about that, is that you need to let it go. You are both so damn stubborn that the situation isn’t going to resolve itself anytime soon. You are going to give yourself a heart attack or an embolism if you don’t learn to go forward. Things are finally going in the right direction for you, don’t let yourself get derailed. Keep your focus on the future. Besides, I know you try to be the best man you can be, you know that you try to be the best man you can be, that’s all that matters.”
“I try, I try like hell to stay focused, but thinking about the thing tends to get me ignited…”

“And what good is it doing you, Jake? You walk around tense and agitated when you think about the whole thing. You aren’t solving things; you are just making them worse for yourself. It’s going to affect your health and push away everyone if you let it eat you up. Besides, friends shouldn’t act that way.”

“Ok I will… try… to let it go.”

“Atta boy.”

“Well, besides that, why am I so damn tense all of the time?”

“Here’s a better question, why do you let everything bother you the way it does?”

“I thought you knew that already…”

“I do, but I’m not here to give you the answers, I am just here to help you find them yourself.”

“Ok, ok… I guess that a lot of the reason I am always so angry is the fact that I never feel vindicated. I always, always feel like the only way to make the people around me understand my point of view is to fight or to hurt them.”

“And how has that been working out for you lately?”

“Not so good.”

“Jesus Christ, Jake, do you think that maybe that attitude is the very reason no one wants to see your point of view?”

“Wait a second; did you just use the lord’s name in vain?”

“He is my kid, remember?”

“The bottom line is that I feel like no one listens to me.”

“No, the bottom line is that you have a fear of being wrong and everyone thinking that you are stupid.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“The attitude promotes intolerance and pretension. And let’s face it Jake, you are very intolerant of people who aren’t as smart as you and less than tolerant of people that are smarter than you.”
“Well that’s not a fair assessment. That just about covers everyone!”

“Hey, it’s your attitude, not mine.”

“I know that I have a short fuse with dumb people, but I’m not sure I follow how I have a problem with smart people.”

“It all boils down to one thing, you don’t like people who are smarter than you because well…”

“Well what?”

“They are smarter than you. One of these days you are going to accept the fact that you aren’t me, you don’t know everything, and it is entirely possible to be very, very intelligent without being an Einstein. You need to look at it as a blessing that you have the brains that you do have, and always realize that it could be much, much worse. Always remember that you don’t have to demean people because that they don’t have the knowledge yet, they are just untaught. You can’t blame someone for being malnourished if they have never been properly fed, can you? The bottom line, teach the ones who don’t know, and learn from the ones who do.”

“Ok, that I can do.”

“One more question, at least for now.”

“What is my purpose?”

“We both know that you aren’t ready for that answer, you don’t even understand the question yet. Besides, it would take all of the fun out of your life if you knew why you were here. Well Jake, I am afraid that our time here is up.”

He snapped his fingers, and I awoke, sitting on my recliner in the living room, in a panic and a cold sweat.

I haven’t quite decided if it was God or a documentary that was on TV when I went to bed that made me have the dream, but it doesn’t make the conversation any less valid. I could only hope that this becomes a reoccurring dream.